Posts Tagged With: Memories

Mexico pictures

My dad got these pictures when he served his LDS mission in Mexico. He hung them in the house for years. Every time I see them it makes me smile. He gave them to me quite a while ago, and we finally hung them on the wall hall. This one is my favorite.

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Train engine

I went walking at lunch this week and found this locomotive engine at Stewart Park. It reminded me of a park I went to in California when I was a kid. It had an engine like this and a military jet. It was so fun to play there.

I took the kids here after Jaxon’s soccer game this morning.  They liked it as much as I did.

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Throwing rocks in the river

I took the dogs to Colliding Rivers again this morning to throw rocks in the river. I used to love doing that as a kid. I remember doing that on the Truckee, American and Russian Rivers.  I remember one time, but not the location, when we were with Rod and Janine and we tried to hit a small hole in a big rock across a river.  I like to skip rocks and just throw them in the river.  I like hearing the sound of the rushing water, seeing the white water and just relaxing.  It’s a good thing I moved so close to a cool river.

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Fool enough to almost be it
Cool enough to not quite see it
Pick your pockets full of sorrow
And run away with me tomorrow

We’ll try and ease the pain
But somehow we’ll feel the same
Well, no one knows
Where our secrets go

I send a heart to all my dearies
When your life is so, so dreary
I’m rumored to the straight and narrow
While the harlots of my perils

And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

Mother weep the years I’m missing
All our time can’t be given
Shut my mouth and strike the demons
That cursed you and your reasons
Out of hand and out of season
Out of love and out of feeling
So bad

When I can, I will
Words defy the plan
When I can, I will

Fool enough to almost be it
And cool enough to not quite see it
And old enough to always feel this
Always old, I’ll always feel this

No more promise no more sorrow
No longer will I follow
Can anybody hear me
I just want to be me
When I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

I’m not a huge Smashing Pumpkins fan, but this is by far my favorite song of theirs.  I heard it on Pandora two days ago after not hearing it for a long time, and it seems to be hitting home with me right now.  I think it’s the music, lyrics, and overall feel of the song that is striking a chord right now.  I look at the changes in people around me, and how that affects me, and I’m not sure I like it.  Don’t give me that “Change is inevitable” crap.  I’m talking about watching my kids grow up and need me less and less.  I’m talking about losing friends.  My best friend moved three years ago, and I really could have used his support.  We talked on the phone, but it’s not the same as being here.  Then another close friend died just over a year and a half ago.  I may be losing another one soon.  It makes me feel like my foundation is eroding.  I thought I would have seen the sunlight through the storm clouds by now.

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I love my life

We were blessed to have Erick and Tami come visit us from Boise this weekend. We were able to return the favor from July when we needed to get away and reset our minds and hearts. At least I did. And it took several days for me to find that reset button. I was ready to give up and stop trying to fight the good fight. I felt defeated and hopeless. That Boise trip was long enough to get me out of that funk and truly reset. I didn’t want to go, but Erick persuaded me. We were in a position to do the same for them, although their mental circumstances seem to be better than mine was. The kids had UEA weekend, and we thought it would be a great time to have them here. On Sunday we went to Sundance to look at the mountains and changing leaves. I have to admit I was a little disappointed that the leaves were more orange than red, but it was still beautiful and relaxing to feel the warm sun and listen to the creek water flow.

As Erick and Tami left this morning, I started to reflect on the blessings we have.  We were able to spend time with good friends, eat good food, and enjoy nature.  We were able to visit and strengthen each other.  I indexed two records when I got to work, and as I thought about my blessings I felt the Spirit, which increased my gratitude and made me more aware of my blessings.  I have a job that I love, that is close to home and causes me very little stress.  We are living in a house that we love.  Our vehicles are paid off.  We are healthy.  I get to take both my daughters to the Temple to do baptisms for the dead.  I am surrounded by beautiful mountains.  I have a black Lab mountain biking buddy.  I have been able to ride a lot this fall.  Many talks from General Conference seem to strike a chord with me and describe my experiences and how I feel.  I have indexed over 1000 records, and I love doing it.  I feel like we are living a simpler life, and I love it.  I feel like we are at a good place in our lives, and we are close as a family, and close to dear friends.  I love my life.

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One year ago

Theron died a year ago today. I can’t believe it was that long ago. He is a great person, and I really miss him. After family, I look forward to finding him after I die.

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These type of screwdrivers always make me think of my uncle Rod.  He was a mechanic and used to have a set like this.  I think Dad did too, but for some reason they always make me think of Rod.  I thought of this when I was cleaning out my tool box recently.

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Dad’s green toolbox

This was my Dad’s green toolbox that he had when I was a kid.  My wife thinks it’s grey, but the paint is just faded.  My Dad gave me the toolbox several years ago.  It is sturdy and should last for several more years.

Today I went through my tools in the toolbox and removed duplicates and tools I don’t really use.  This is what I now store in the toolbox.  It feels good to purge and get rid of needless things.

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Ghost of days gone by

It was June 27, 2011, when I got word that my close friend Theron had died.  It was a Monday morning, and I was in Dollar Tree when I got the call from Mike Both.  I could not believe it.  I had spent a few hours with Theron the previous Thursday night, so it didn’t seem possible.  I felt numb all day.  I had this song going through my head all day, and it has reminded me of Theron ever since.  Something about the music and lyrics just seems to fit.  Theron has two daughters and a son, and they are the same ages and order of my three oldest, so it hit a little bit harder.

Theron and I spent a lot of time together at E*Trade.  We worked together on the graveyard shift for a long time, so it gave us time to talk and screw around.  We might have sparred a few times, and we spent a lot of time pranking each other and our co-workers.

Theron and I were working in Washington, DC at the same time in May 2006.  We found a rooftop restaurant on top of the Hotel Washington that Theron wanted to try.  I wanted to skip it because I thought it would be too expensive, but Theron prevailed.  We ended up sitting with some students from Georgetown, and it was a fun evening.  The weather was great, and the view was even better.

A few days ago I was looking for a video to watch while I exercised, and I found the videos Theron made me several years ago.  I watched the one of the US Secret Service yesterday and today, and the SAS In Action before that.

Theron really was a great guy, and I really miss him.

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This is one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs. Verona was in my mission boundaries, and though I never got to visit the city, the feelings are the same. I look at the images of the rain and I can feel what it was like to be there. I love this song.

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