Don’t try this at home (or anywhere else)

I got a call from my wife this morning asking me to take her to the clinic because she cut off the tip of her finger.  I drove by the house, which was just a few blocks away, but she wasn’t there.  I tried to call her to make sure she was at the school but got her voice mail.  I found her at the school with a frozen sponge on her hand, and she seemed quite calm.  We were able to get right in at the Insta-Care where the grossness began.  At least I had a small pack of yellow Nerds from the front desk.  The doctor caused her to yell when he tried to pull the stuck gauze off her finger.  I knew it was going to be bad at that point.  He wasn’t sure if he could cauterize it or if it required a skin graft.  She screamed even worse when the doctor shot her in the finger several times to numb it.  Either she has amazing self control or I haven’t taught her how to swear properly.  I would have been cussing up a storm.  She lost most of her fingernail on her ring finger, but it stopped bleeding on its own.  Her thumb had to be cauterized, but it hadn’t been numbed, so it shot pain through her arm.  She said that hurt about as much as the shots in the finger.  He then cauterized her finger, and he had to put a few stitches in to stop the bleeding.  He did a great job of numbing her finger because the stitches went straight through her finger.  They wrapped it up and gave her a prescription for painkillers, and we headed back to the school to get her fingertip and sunglasses.  We got her home and I picked up the painkillers, which made her puke a few minutes later.  She wanted to take a shower, and taking her shirt off caught the bandage and pulled it off.  That’s when we took the gross picture.  We had to take the purple wrapping off so we could open up the bandage and get it back on.  She looks like she is giving a puppet show.

Let this be a lesson to you- don’t ever put your hand in a food processor, meat grinder or snow blower.  When in doubt use a stick, fork or someone else’s hand.

Categories: Experiences, Gross things | Leave a comment

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