Many changes have occured in the last week or so. Most notable was the passing of our prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley. He was a great man that did much good around the world. He will always be remembered for his sense of humor and kindness. I will miss him, but I know he is in a better place and has been reunited with his wife and family. I know the Church is in the Lord’s hands and he has prepared the new prophet for what lays ahead. This morning my daughter said she didn’t want to die. We tried to explain to her that it’s a necessary part of life, and once you are gone you will be free from pain and suffering. I’m not sure she fully understood, but she will some day.
I’m recovering from my man surgery. I spent three days in bed with an ice pack. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected, and it gave me a great excuse to watch movies and play video games. My son is getting really good at his TMNT’s game and Downhill Domination. I wish I could really ride a bike like that.
I started Journal #54 about a week ago. I hope to be able to write until the day I die. It is great therapy, and I want my family to know me when I’m gone. I’ve been wondering lately if I will die young or old, and I don’t have a feeling either way. I would not be surprised if I have to battle cancer during my life, but I already know how I will tackle that. My friend Rob had Hodgkinson’s lymphoma when I met him. I watched him go through chemo and I decided that I would never do that unless I had a good chance of beating cancer. I won’t do it to extend my life by a few months. Rob beat his cancer several years ago like we knew he would. For him it appears to have been a good choice.
Life is full of choices, and everyday we see the evidence of good and bad choices. While I miss seeing new episodes of The Office, NCIS and The Unit, along with the delayed start of 24, it’s been nice to find other things to do with myself. I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions because most people have given up by now. I believe in making goals for things I want to accomplish, then allow myself to accomplish those goals at any time during the year. I also made a list of things I want to try or revisit this year, like drawing and photography. I went to the funeral of Gene Jacobs and Ted Harward in November and December, and I realized that I need to take the time to develop my talents and try new things before I watch my life slip away. We tend to get bogged down with too many distractions, and I’m working hard to remove the things that just don’t matter. I want to be able to look back on my life and be pleased with the things I’ve experienced and accomplished. I will post my 2K8 List and Self Improvement Ideas shortly. I also created a Before I Die List, which I like to call my BID List, before The Bucket List movie was made with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. I was first, but it’s still a good idea. I just don’t want to wait until I am dying to appreciate what could have been.